Day 29

Today is my 29th day of showing up to be witnessed over on my YouTube channel.

My handle is @Be_Witnessed_333 in honor of what I hope my emerging project and mission with the “Witness Creatives Collective” will become, which is a safe place in a dark world to gather and share the contents of our hearts.

For 29 days in a row, I have shown up for myself to walk my talk and put myself out there in an attempt to do just that.

And I’ll be honest, today I found myself wanting to skip right over this day and get to tomorrow already.

Get to day 30.

Get to that clean, round number where I would be able to officially allow myself a sense of accomplishment or something?

Get to the list I’ve already been percolating on and forming in my mind, which is “the 30 things I’ve learned from 30 days of showing up”.

The urge to rush ahead and assume a lack of significance for today, day 29, is exactly what slowed me down to almost a halt today.

It made me sit with how I always want to bypass the follow‑through and leap straight into the next, more exciting milestone of a thing. Often times, causing me to miss out on important details or worse, never finish the thing at all.

That realization sent me down a rabbit hole exploring the significance of number 29 and it inspired the free-write/poem that I will share down below.

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I’m grateful for the slowdown today because it made me take inventory of my motives and discovering (yet again!) the beliefs that I keep saying I’m releasing.

The ones that no longer serve me but still stubbornly try to shape how I measure myself.

One of those beliefs is the idea that authority requires credentials, and credentials require access to higher education, to resources, to influential rooms and certain, prominent people.

That old success matrix has been branded (pardon the literal pun) onto our souls for so long that we forget it’s not the truth, it’s conditioning that has intercepted our belief in ourselves and our own power.

But in these apocalypse times (apocalypse literally meaning an unveiling or revelations) those metrics are dissolving, baybeeee.

The standards we’ve been holding ourselves to have been revealed as a crumbling tower built on illusion.

Which means that for someone like little old me, that glass ceiling has shattered, and I can FEEL it.

In the aftermath of realizing that much of the world’s elite ruling class is, at worst, entangled in unimaginable appetites and crimes against children, and at best, willing to ignore the complex ecosystem that enables it, the beauty standards that once dictated who gets to be seen are slowly beginning to fall away.

At least for me.

I feel liberated in a way that I can’t explain?

The leadership and authority I never felt entitled to claim, based solely on my lived experience and depth of study and soul reflection, suddenly becomes valid, because we are now reclaiming our humanity.

We are building a new societal structure rooted in genuine integrity.

In holistic authenticity.

And by holistic, I mean holy.

I mean baptized by fire.

I mean unafraid of accountability or failure, because we know that diving face first into those things unashamed only strengthens us and the collective around us.

As we learn to explore again, discover, and share field notes and prayers and art, and processes with each other again…the old structures, the ones that affirmed that some people matter and others barely count as a poll number or percentage on a monthly report…are not trustworthy.

Those who benefited at the top of trickle‑down economics, trickle‑down spirituality, trickle‑down prosperity, trickle‑down leadership are about to be flooded by the uprising of the collective sprinkler system.

The spiritual irrigation system that is forming under the soil of humanity.

Its waters are rising, pushing through, and breaking ground.

We are linking arms together like roots across the globe, mirroring the plant and fungal networks that nourish each other beneath the borders drawn on land by the men who’ve never stooped low enough to work the soil they claim to own.

Something is rising within us.

Something is pooling us together into a deep well of wisdom and remembrance.

It’s not trickling down from the top…it’s pulling from the bottom and gathering momentum.

Just like I wrote in this notebook in 2022.

I was sitting in a state‑of‑the‑business meeting as the least valuable, most replaceable employee in the shipping department of a manufacturing plant, one of many tucked within a multibillion‑dollar, global corporation.

I doodled this as I listened to someone talk about quarterly goals and profits…knowing deep down that something else had to be possible, if only those of us at the bottom could just hold each other up and somehow shake each other awake.

I felt that same truth rising in me when I walked away from my “stable and responsible” social media manager/marketing role last spring.

“Something else has to be possible for me.”  I kept wondering as I tried to embrace the world of marketing.

I pushed past my soul’s internal alarms of unease and doubt and worked hard to identify our customer “avatar” and core demographic.

Trying to find a fresh way each day to shine a “spotlight” on their “pain points”. 

Then finding ways to aggressively yet, elegantly exploit them. Essentially, to create “a sense of urgency” so that we could funnel them toward a sale…all in the name of “making a difference”.

I couldn’t gaslight myself into believing that felt right or good at the end of the day, and just decided that I wasn’t cut out for the marketing world.

And when I left both jobs, I inevitably felt like I had failed, like I would just never find a way to be “successful” in this world as just a “peasant”.

Friends and family, hearing about my long list of jobs and inability to stay in them long enough to “make something of myself,” turned it into a kind of joke.

People would kind of laugh it off and say that eventually I’d have to grow up, get a “real job” and learn how to make it work.

So now, today, on day 29, I declare that this is absolutely a threshold that I will cross and never take that "peasant" identity forward with me again.

Today signifies an accumulation.

Evidence of the birthright abundance that is gathering at my feet, right this very moment.

It symbolizes what I hope will manifest in my actual life: stepping the fuck over these barriers and onto new land. 

Leaving so much behind that has weighed me down.

And to those who might be lurking in the shadows, watching my videos quietly, reading my posts without commenting, watching everything I am sharing on Instagram, but never saying anything?  

Thank you.

Your presence, even silent, has helped carry me to this next stage of my life.

This Part Two of my personal mythos.

This re-birth that I’ve been calling in for so long.

And now that I finally know I deserve it, can allow myself to believe it’s possible.

I can feel that it’s here.

It’s here for all of us who choose to see it.

So, I will take that next step and continue to show up on all my platforms and in all my spaces, sharing the truths rising within me.

With nothing to stand on but my own two legs, inner fire and sovereign audacity to allow myself to matter.

I’m not entirely sure how it’s all going to unfold…but I know I am going to figure it out along the way.

 

 

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DAY 29 

Today is Day 29.

A prime number.

A lunar number.

A threshold number.

It is the moment right before the moment.

The inhale before stepping off of the fool’s cliff.

The last footstep inside the old world before the doorway of the new swings open.

For 29 days, I’ve shown up.

And something happens when you show up long enough to follow through.

The voice stops being something you reach for, and becomes something you can stand within instead.

Presence stops being a practice to cultivate, and becomes a spiritual signal to generate.

It’s the High Priestess and the Hermit

braiding their lantern light and whispering in your spirit ear,

“Stand in your authority. Your inner knowing will become a guide.”

It’s the moon completing her cycle.

It’s the whole self, 

under God,

becoming indivisible, 

retrieving all its parts

and placing them into alignment.

Where we live in tandem

with head and heart, 

and liberty and justice available to all. 

It’s the inward work

beginning to echo onward.

❤️‍🔥MH

#theartofwitnessing #poem

Thank you for reading and sharing my work!

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